Dearest family,friends,colleagues and clients,

You all know why i am doing this so i will spare you the sob story.You have already listened to me and given me advice and a shoulder to cry on for all these years and for that i will be eternally grateful.Its been a long road so ive decided to hit the road and with the help of steve jobs,arctic monkeys ,amy winehouse and compeed blister plasters i am attempting to do something positive from something negative.you can stop reading now.....

Dearest everyone else,this is our story,i will try to stick to the facts.

 

My mam Pat is 61 years age,she has alzheimers.She currently lives in the high dependency unit in a specialist alzheimers hospital in dublin.She is in the final terminal phase of her  illness and does not have long to live.

I wanted to do the marathon for the Alzheimers Society this year to help raise money and awarness for the help they give the sufferers ,families and carers for those living with alzheimers and dementia.They have given my family and I invaluble help and support and information over the years.I dont know what i would have done without it.

In 2003 at the age of 53 it became obvious that there was something very wrong with mams health.There had been signs of troulbe before but we put it down to other influences and lifestyle.We took mam to see our family gp and voiced concern over her memory loss and confusion,we were told she was fine.Mam was very confused and totally unable to even see that we were concerned.It was like she was someone else.We tried another two doctors and had the same outcome.

By 2004  it had gotten a whole lot worse ,her personality had completely changed,she had become violent ,aggressive and suspicious of us.She was seemingly incapable of even basic tasks such as washing ,feeding herself and was wandering about lost.We tried everything to intervene but it seemed everyway we turned the door was shut in our face.We at this stage began to think that she had early onset alzheimers or dementia.But as she was frightened and violent it was very difficult to get her to a hospital or to see a doctor.Nobody would come to the house.We just had to wait until it was a good day and persuade her to come along.Our old family doctor finally agreed that it was possibly a form of dementia ,but he wanted to rule out other infections etc.Her heart and organs were tested but by the time the results came back, the doctor seemed to have changed his mind,and told us that "we all forget to cross our t's and dot our i's from time to time" !!

In 2005.We found a private stress and mental health clinic that we thought could help,but again noone could sign her in,even though she was a danger to herself.She had to sign herself in.So again we waited until she was having a good day,and brought her along.Mam was very frightened and disorientated,we explained to the nurses that when we left she wouldnt remember why she was there.They assured us that she was in good hands and they would take it from there.30 mins after we left mam allegedly attacked a nurse and was sectioned under the mental health act.She was now put in a psychiatric ward with drug addicts and violent criminals and there was nothing we could do.We kept telling them that she had alzheimers but they said it was more likely a mental health issue.She had become incontinent at this time but was left to clean up after herself which she was incapaple of doing.She was incredibly sad and frightened.

After 6 weeks she was finally moved to a psycho-geriatric ward which was far from perfect but at least catered for her needs slightly more.The doctors still were reluctant to diagnose alzheimers and thanks to the alzheimers society i was able to arm myself with the right questions and information and ask for the right tests to be done.Finally after 6 months we were given a diagnoses.

By now mams disease was very advanced and she was unable to return home.We needed to find the right place for her to live but this was proving very difficult as she was "too young" to have  alzheimers !!Again we were passed from pillar to post but eventually after many phone calls,letters and meetings with doctors ,nurses ,social workers and even the minister for health in Ireland,she went to live wih the wonderful people at highfield alzheimers hospital.She finally got the dignity and care she deserved.

Mam lost everything,her personality,her abilty to cope with day to day life, things that most people take for granted,She has forgotten who she was and who everyone is around her and although her grandson has been to visit her on several occasions, she has never truely met him, something that will make me sad forever.

There are amazing advances in the treatment and care for people living with alzheimers but it needs to be diagnosed early.It is too late for my mam, but maybe if she had been diagnosed earlier, then this could have been different. Hopefully her story can raise awareness so this doesnt happen again.

We need to lose the stigma attached to this dreadful disease and give dignity to its sufferers.

Thank you so much for reading this.I realise that times are hard and not everyone can  donate finacially but just to donate your time to listen will help.Please pass this on to anyone you think may be able to donate or might be interested in helping.

Love,

Eimhear.

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